Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
