Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You ruined the universe
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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