I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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