Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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