just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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