She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
