...so i touched it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
How's work?
Spinning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
