sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
