nut hugger
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
