what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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