..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
