so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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