I'd wear matching sweaters with you
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize