You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You ate ashes out of my bong
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
