just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
