can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
jump out the window naked night went bad
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
