She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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