weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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