two words: eviction party
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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