Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
