My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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