don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
