so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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