OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think people are normalizing furries
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