Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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