how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
