Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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