im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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