Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
