she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
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