remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
