I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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