At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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