Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
