Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's just like the Real World with babies
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
