You're my little dorito
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
