I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
