I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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