I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
