I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
