you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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