office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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