Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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