so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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