I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
