i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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