porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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