Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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