butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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