PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
