Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
