im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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