i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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