She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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