Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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