That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Me too!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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