Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
