Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
