Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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