I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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