You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
