How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
