He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
