im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
