Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
worst night to have a conscience
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
