I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
