i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize