I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
vagina is talking i cant
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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