I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
